Lois Feldman: Victim?

By now, many of you may have heard or read the story of a 38 year old wife and mother of three from Iowa named Lois Feldman. It's a sad story for many reasons. If you're unfamiliar with the story, allow me to give a brief synopsis.

On Saturday, November 22, 2008, Lois Feldman, along with her husband, Kelly, went to Minnesota's Metrodome to cheer on their beloved Iowa Hawkeyes in the Iowa-Minnesota game. Before the game, however, she says that she was drinking heavily. That proved to be a very bad decision for Mrs. Feldman.

Just before halftime, Lois decided she needed to use the ladies room. No one is really clear as to what transpired from the time she left her husband watching the game to when police arrived at the scene of two people, Lois Feldman and Ross Walsh, being cheered on by onlookers as they were engaged in sexual intercourse in the handicapped stall of the men's restroom. Both were ticketed for indecent conduct and Feldman was released into the custody of her husband and Walsh to his girlfriend (probably ex-girlfriend now).

Feldman now claims that she was so drunk on wine that she doesn't remember anything about the incident at all and she has stated that it has "ruined my life" saying that it wasn't just the incident itself that ruined her life, but also the press coverage. She told the Des Moines Register that she was fired by the assisted living center she had been an administrator of.

Now, Mrs. Feldman says that she believes that SHE is the victim in this case. She believes she was a victim of foul play rather than a willing contributor. Could it be? Surely. Is it likely? I'm not sure. Speaking about the incident, she says:

"I would never ever do that...My kids are my life. I go to church every Sunday."

Her contention is that she may have been drugged or someone may have slipped something into her drink. Unfortunately, for her defense lawyer, she and Mr. Walsh refused to submit to toxicological testing, so the extent of her drunkenness or even if there were foreign substances in her drink is unknowable at this point.

As someone who used to drink quite often, and have experienced being drunk on many occasion in my life before Christ, I can certainly understand how this might have happened to Mrs. Feldman. I remember doing things I would have never done under normal circumstances, but for me, liquor (especially wine) provided "liquid courage" to an otherwise "safe" kind of guy like myself. I felt free from all inhibitions and I dared to do things I would have never actually done without the alcohol. Notice that I didn't say I had never "thought" about doing those things, but just that I never would have actually done them.

As I was discussing this with a close friend of mine yesterday, she said that she believes alcohol works as sort of a "truth serum" where things that are down within an individual eventually come to the top. I agree, as that has been my experience with being intoxicated. But, outside of experience, I now know it to be true because God's Word says so.

Proverbs 20:1 says:

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise."

Proverbs 23 has this to say:

29 Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes?

The answer?

30 Those who tarry long over wine; those who go to try mixed wine.

The wounds I received, as well as Mrs. Feldman, are self-inflicted wounds. The woe and the sorrow, along with strife are because of our dealings with drunkenness. Notice that complaining accompanies it. "It's ruined my life," she proclaims. She complains that she is a victim. I agree, but not of anyone else. She is a victim of her own sinful inclination (Genesis 6:5) that led her to drink heavily in the first place.

31 Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. 32 In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder.

33 Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart utter perverse things.

Mrs. Feldman says that she goes to church every Sunday. So, with that, I would assume she believes that she is a Christian, probably having made some sort of profession of faith at some point. Jesus told us in Matthew 7 that a good tree cannot bring forth corrupt fruit, nor can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. We will know those who are His by their fruit. But, what does the Bible say about those who engage in drunkenness and sexual immorality?

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21 ESV

Please understand that my intent is not to pick on Mrs. Feldman. But, according to the accounts of this incident, she is guilty of at least all of the emboldened acts listed above. Am I saying that I know without a doubt that she's not a believer? No, I'm not saying that. However, her response to all of this is not one of a genuine believer who is grieved over their sin. It isn't one of a truly repentant person, who acknowleges their wrongdoing and takes responsibility for it. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, the natural tendency of the human heart is to shift blame to others.

Believers know that God is truth. We also know that God requires truth in the innermost parts of us. We believe, as God's Word teaches us, that God is spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth. In order for us to have any kind of relationship with the Lord, we must be honest with ourselves and more importantly God, and take ownership of our wrongdoings and understand that we are responsible for our own sin. If we are unwilling to even acknowledge fault, we lie, and do not the truth.

That's really what this blog was all about today--personal responsibility. Tomorrow, we'll take a look at another way to deal with wrongdoings. I think you'll be surprised to see who I use as an example.

Until next time....